Learning how to deal with difficult people is a part of life. When it comes to certain “friendships”, it’s important to know when to let go. Dealing with toxic family members on the other hand, is a requires a much more sensitive approach. Let’s face it, we can never truly break-up with a family member.
Dealing with Difficult Family
Family is everything but sometimes they can be inconsiderate or ignorant if our needs and expectations in the relationship. In reality, it would be amazing if our guardians, relatives, and friends said the perfect thing at the perfect time when we need them too. That’s mostly never the case. These incidents of miscommunication, lack of understanding, etc. can cause tremendous strain in our relationships. But here’s the thing you can’t just break up with your family. You can’t choose where you come from, and honestly, there’s a beauty in that. There are ways of having a civil, drama-free relationship with difficult, or toxic family members. Let’s talk about it.
Above we mentioned that there there’s no reason to cut ties Below I compiled a 6-step guideline, composed of habits and mindsets that can be implemented to keep the peace between you and your family. Let’s start with number one.
1) Spend time with them in a group setting
We may find ourselves being cornered while having one on one conversations with a particular family member. Don’t allow this to happen. Instead, try to spend time with them in a group setting. People are more aware of their tone and words when they have an audience listening. And even if they don’t, you’ll most likely find support from other family members who may speak up on your behalf. It’s a great way to take the spotlight off of you. Barbecues, Sunday night dinners, family game nights, these are all great group activities you should consider incorporating in order to take away some of the stress.
2) Don’t compare their roles to others
Part of growth is finally understanding that the adults in our lives; parents, grandparents, aunts, etc are human, just like us. It is not fair to compare your parents, grandparents, to someone else’s, parents or grandparents, etc. In other words, don’t use expectations that you learned from other families on your own. Not only is it not fair for you to spend a lifetime wishing that your mom was the same as Joseph’s mom, but it’s just not healthy. Show gratitude for what you have and accept your family for who they are. This brings us to number three.
3) Avoid triggering topics
We all have topics that are sensitive to us. Whenever you bring these topics up, you may receive very insensitive comments or even mockery from family. It happens, when you find yourself in a face-off every time a certain subject arises, it’s probably best to shelf that topic completely. In other words, avoid touchy subjects at all costs. Remember your goal is to have a civil, mature relationship and you can’t do that if you’re always snapping with one other.
4) Give them space
When tensions are especially high, take a step back. This can be a day a week or a month, you know that person and how much time they need to cool off. Consider your health and theirs by giving each other time and removing each other from a stressful situation.
5) Be vague but genuine
Move in silence and don’t share too much. This is especially important for members of your family that seem most judgmental and non-supportive. This is for your own sanity and personal growth. When you find yourself struggling to accomplish something that a family member tells you that you’ll fail, in so many words, their voice never leaves your mind. So as you’re trying to build yourself up, that negativity will constantly try to pull you down. This ultimately can lead in failure and resentment, which we don’t want. To really be able to break free from seeking approval, you have to build up your self-esteem and have confidence and clarity on your goals.
Related: TURN YOUR DREAMS INTO REALITY (realistically)
6) Forgive but remember
Yes, forgive them for anything they’ve done to you in your past. This is something that can take years to be able to do. As I type these words it’s a reminder for me as well. But remember, you’re not doing it for them you’re doing it for yourself. Because holding onto things only affects you especially if you’re the victim of the situation. They already moved on, it no longer phases them, so why should you suffer? Let it go.
This concludes our list. What did you think? Do you agree or disagree with what has been mentioned today? Feel free to leave a comment down below, and subscribe! We’ll talk soon!
Until then: Stay you. Stay true. Stay beautiful. ♥
Also, check out my self-love children’s book, now available on Amazon! Click Here! <3
I go by ClassyQueeny and I’m the voice behind BreatheThenLive.com I encourage my readers to live their life practicing mindfulness, love, and peace. When life gets chaotic and out of wack- just breathe, take your time to find your footing. And when you’re ready, live the life you dream of, because nothing is out of your reach. ❤️